SLUGS!!! -- A Sitcom

This morning was kind of funny. At least I think I would think it was funny if I was an observer and had nothing personally invested. As an update, my son continues to wet himself and refuses to go near the potty. It's a battle of wills at this point. His willingness to go around in wet pants and my willingness to do a heck of a lot more laundry.

This morning he woke up dry. He had not gone in his Pull-Up and I was thinking I had a shot. Nope. He did the potty dance all morning. It was painful to watch. He whined and grimaced through eating his cereal. I casually mentioned he might feel better if he went and he let out another roar of, "NOOOOOOOO!" At this point I was just wishing he would wet himself to get it over with.

We finished breakfast and headed out to the cars. I tossed a few cloth diapers at my husband so he could put them down on the carseat before my son sat down. I mean, the kid was ready to burst and I didn't have time to deal with a wet carseat. "Tell him it is because the seat is cold," I said, knowing my son was sure to protest. Sure enough I heard him whaling. "He doesn't like it because it's different," I heard Mike say from outside.

I walked outside to the car trying to think of what to tell my son. My eyes stopped on the beautiful Gerber daisies I had planted only a few weeks ago. Then I stopped dead in my tracks. My hands went straight out at my sides and I think I started bleating a little, like a sheep.

I knelt down and picked a huge slug off the nearest flower which was now a mass of holes. I threw it across the yard yelling, "Damn you slug!" I looked down and realized there was a plague of slugs upon my plants. My husband got out of the car. "What are there a lot...holy hell!" My husband does not freak out. I knew this meant trouble.

"Go in and get the salt," he yelled after me as I was already halfway into the house. I came back out with chunky sea salt and watched as the slugs started to burst into orange-y globs of goo. "It's not enough, we need more! Give me your keys" My husband ran inside and came back out with the Mortons. Of course. What was I doing with this stinking sea salt?

I think my son had stopped crying by that time and I also would have been sure that he had peed himself.  Except just two minutes ago I got a call from my husband from home saying he had gone back to change because our son had just peed all over him.

Oh well, just a normal morning for me. Now, off to work.